and i still wonder...

>>  2.12.08

There are always people who hate me till i die (and hope that i were one), back stab me, talk bad behind my back, plan to hurt me but can still act dumb and innocent in front of others.

And sometimes i wonder why would they still try so hard to be my friend.

Maybe it's just me; that I have treat this too seriously. That i should enjoy surfing the net without any deep emotional feeling attached.

And once again; maybe it's only me, I just can't do anything without attaching my emotion to everything that i do.

I admit that maybe I've done something wrong to them, intentionally or not. And I DO KNOW that no matter how sorry I am and no matter how hard I apologize to them, they just won't.

And due to my laziness, I stop apologizing because I know myself that there are some people whom you just can't forgive. I've experienced it myself, so I know this fact for real.

So why do you bother to remind yourself with it? I imagine that all it did was turning your heart uglier and uglier by the minutes. No, score that, I guess even by the seconds you start thinking about it.

Maybe it's only me, but once a problem like this gets too tiring, I'll stop thinking about it. I learn that something are meant for you to let it go because it's too heavy and will only get heavier for you too carry it along with your life.

But I guess there are just some people who keeps doing that so others will say that I'm the bad one here and that they are the innocent one because they already forgiven me (even though they aren't). Maybe they are masochist; who enjoy tormenting themselves. Hahaha.

In the end, I will only apologized that I am the cause of their ugly heart.


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